'The Forgiven' (My Story Part 2)

'The Forgiven' (My Story Part 2)

I never saw her again for the holidays, but the seed had been sown and I forgot about it until years later in junior secondary school (I went to an all-girls school) when I met this girl who also really liked me and gave me the vibes that sprouted the seeds that were sown years back.

I ‘connected’ with this girl and this was how the seed of abuse by a girl germinated into a full-blown fruit and became an act of LESBIANISM.

I and this girl would always act in ways that were very sexually endearing and we saw each other as partners.

One day, she followed me home, we had planned that we were going to finally engage in the act itself and unfortunately for us, maybe fortunate for me now that I think about it, another friend of mine had just stubbornly insisted on following me home seeing as no one would be home and she had overheard me and this girl talk about drinking garri and fried fish (lol) or maybe it was the food (lol), either way, she followed us home, we tried to employ different tactics to get her to NOT follow us but then she did and we let her, so we both agreed ( me and my partner) that we would send her on an errand and in this time, ENGAGE.

Which we were doing when she walked in minutes later, almost like she ran to complete the errand and met me and this girl, laying on ourselves and she looked and turned away, I could never forget the look in her eyes, I immediately felt this great SHAME and FEAR wash over me, with thoughts that what if she told other students and they get to find out what would happen?

I don’t know what it is, but as far as I could remember she NEVER told anyone, I kept trying to suck up to her thinking she would, she never confronted me about it or spoke about it, but the fact that SOMEONE SAW ME AND KNOWS WHAT I DID scared me silly.

That day, I made up my mind that I would NEVER again indulge in such, no one told me anything but I made that decision from a place of shame and fear.

Years down the line, I struggled with it, because I had said I hated guys (I was also abused by different older guys and near rape, accident from two boys, I had called friends) so because of this notion I struggled with feeling attraction for a certain type of girls and I also saw that certain girls were attracted to me.

I never shared or spoke to anyone about it and kept mute and gradually it just slowly withdrew, the urge to engage in this act.

I am sharing this story to ANNOUNCE that I have been forgiven by the father for something that was yes, not my fault, but I engaged in it and I can sit on the fact that I was abused but the father would have me come up higher to the place of victory and OWN my victory.

Just as I have been forgiven and rid of all shame, fear, guilt and heaviness, I am encouraging you to see that shame doesn’t have to be your IDENTITY anymore.

I know that brother, uncle, father, sister, friend, neighbour, housekeeper and so on HURT YOU.

But I believe the father would have you come up higher and allow Him to wash you clean with His love.

I AM LOVED AND FORGIVEN

THIS IS MY STORY

I HAVE BEEN PURCHASED BY THE BLOOD AND THIS NULLIFIES EVERY ACCUSATION, FEAR, SHAME AND WHAT NOTS.

I also INVITE YOU to COME and experience this great LIFE and NEWNESS that I have because the one who is ‘YAHWEH’ has told me and shown me.

Right now, just say father forgive me and heal me and watch Him SHOW UP with healing in His wings for you.

I BLESS YOU WITH THESE WORDS.

Click To Also Read: God Says Yes

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Mary Ajagbe is a Spiritual Influencer, an author, a trained Coach, an NLP practitioner and also a Minister of God. She studied Radio Production and Mass communication and she has attended quite a number of training, all of which she uses to empower and transform the lives the Father (God) brings her way. I would love to read from you.