Lord, It Is Me...

Lord, It Is Me...

Lord, it is me You saved.

The very stupid kid that encouraged and forced your daughter to do an #abortion at SS1 (Senior secondary school).

Lord, it is me, your ignorant son who dug a pit for himself by cursing himself with the bible to cover for an act when his mum caught him #smoking at the back of the house.

I'm that very cute kid who ignorantly chose ashes for beauty by lifting that weed. It started with a drag and became so addictive and I couldn't help but visit the shrine the second I signed off work.

I had a great job in #Ikeja, then even a better one working side by side with the Okoye twins (#psquare)  but #Nigeria just wasn't enough for me and I took that nerve wrecking trip to #Johannesburg. Many mistakes, many lessons, many messes, yet I fall.

Some never get the luxury of a second chance but I've had too many, too little, or how do I explain how irrelevant I've made them look?

Son, grow up, my Father would wish He could say, raising His voice at me.

He still calls me son despite all the filthy things I have done. He still loves and long to have me to Himself.

I took His love for granted, yet He still stands at the doorstep of my heart knocking like I'm the only one He created.

Oh!  How much He loves me!

But, Daddy is too good.
Too pure.
Too awesome to loose His cool over a fool (who trusted in his own abilities).

Yes, I get angry without ceasing, doesn't the Bible say anger lies in the bossom of fools?

The right thing to do is pray without ceasing, boy, pick up your Bible and read.

Lost in a shadow of myself.

Heartbroken, devastatedly remorseful even though I know God's mercies are everlasting, His gifts are without repentance but I've abused His grace and that haunts me.

I've thrown His love back to His face.

Called Him Daddy but made Him feel like a foster parent.

I'm a work in progress, but for how long will I keep being this way? He needs me to grow......

Lord, it is me that you saved on that bridge, it was about 2am riding on the 3rd mainland bridge with seats occupied by beautiful girls and trunk full of booze and packs of cigarettes, the tyre lost air and I lost control, all it took was the mercy of God to stay alive.

I'm alive, made it through the night and many more months and years, a decade too.

However, I'm the most ungrateful and clueless kid to have ever been created and heaven weeps.

Hope someday, they rejoice.. But I try...

Stopped smoking and drinking, partying and living a vain life but that's not enough.

He wants me.
He needs me.
He chose me.
He loves me.

But I struggle to give Him everything.

Call me a control freak if you wish but I like to take care of things but never does me any good, does it?

I still struggle when I should reign.
I experience the turbulent sea when I should command its calm.

Different #prophecies, multiple dreams, yet I stay awoke.

Living life but not the dream
Fulfilling normalcy but not purpose.

But through it all I wonder how much more You can take from me.

Lord, it is me who would ask Jesus if too much was expected from me as a born again #Christian.

I've failed You.
I've rejected You.

But then I wonder, what will you do with me now that I've become a bone in your throat that refuse to leave?

Click To Also Read: Slave To Self

#thetroubledman #God #ksmtotheworld #kaymagnate #kolawolesolomon #KS #inspiration #salvationstories

When my pen bleeds, expressions are kept close to my heart, and as it bleeds the words from deep within through my writings, I discover I have created art. I display a piece of my soul. This is my work, my blood, and it should be an object of pride, no matter how much it is criticized or praised.